A Simple-Minded Lust for Intermediates

For more than century top scientists all over the world have argued that there seem to exist some close ties of relationship between adult humans and babies*. This theory, however, has been proclaimed outrageous and utterly false by various religious authorities. „It’s more than clear,” states a man of great faith, „gradual modification of living beings, especially adult men, is impossible! It’s written in the Holy Book, God created man in His own image, and we all know: God is not a baby! How dare you, dirty naturalists, compare the Almighty with such a filthy, vicious, disgusting creature!“

*Baby-adult is a factually inadequate analogy to, say, chimp-human, but nevertheless it makes an important point in the face of people who believe in faith-based bullshit. According to data based on scientific research, all living things happen to be, to a relevant degree, cousins that spring all from a single common ancestor. Accidentally, chimps and bonoboes being the closest to humans. Chimpanzees don’t evolve into humans, but we do share a common ancestor, as we do with gorillas, and whales, and rabbits, and trees, and all known kinds of bacteria, and all known forms of life, extinct or still existing. You can always check out the Tree of Life for yourself.

„Adults and babies have nothing in common“, continues pleading another man of great faith. „You say that adults originate from babies then HWERE IS THE INTERMEDIATE FORM, huh? Looks like you’ve got a missing link, scientist! He-he!“

Indeed, that kind of a sarcastic remark has been a spoke in the wheel of science for decades. Moreover, sophisticated theologians finalize the case with absolute certainty resting their study and conclusions on a slightly unfalsifiable fact recorded thousands of years ago and reliably present today in copies of ancient divinely-inspired documents. These particular documents, known as scriptures state: the whole Universe, and all living things in it, are repeatedly created [every single day anew,] by God himself, for eternity. [ Furthermore], every [adult] human being is granted a highly complicated set of memories [and ideas] by which one could falsely conclude that one has actually been alive on the previous day, [but don’t get fooled!,] these are put there by God, on purpose, in order to test your faith.

It’s all an intelligent design. Thus proving that adult men and babies have absolutely nothing in common.

Nevertheless, trough all that time since Darwin, religious leaders and their humble followers have been ready to strike a compromising bargain with science if just scientists were to dig up the mysterious missing link. (And this bargain should not be confused with another one that includes using the latest products of technology.)

„Hwere is the half-adult, half-baby?“ – ask the faithful.

„And don’t bring me some Archaeopteryx, or Ambulocetus, or Tiktaalik, or various hominids, or any of the following list of transitional fossils! These don’t mean nothing to me! I ask a simple question and I demand a simple explanation: HOW DO BABIES TURN TO ADULTS?!“ – cleverly inquires a prominent man of great faith.

Well, now, that kind of injustice will be no more! After a long period of excavations in the area of Texas, USA, paleontologists have stumbled upon the long-looked-for fossil of what they call Infantohaggard. Bio-engineers have recreated a computerized image of this extinct species.

(former) missing link between babies and adults

Disclaimer: The author of this article would like all readers to excuse his over-usage of „babies“ and also would like to assure all of you that no babies, nor any other mammals, were hurt during the process of photoshopping, however, the same does not apply for evolution. So, next time, you know hwat is to blame.

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